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If you grew up celebrating Christmas, the creation of your wish list to Santa was an important step in your holiday tradition. Even though I was Jewish, I figured hedging my bets couldn’t hurt and started my planning long before Halloween. Dreams of toys, a bike, maybe a cool new game (but never socks!) would take shape in a carefully handwritten note, extolling my better qualities while downplaying any potential shortcomings. The goal was the maximum haul and I’ll never forget the joy of opening a present and getting exactly what I wanted. Once.
Most of the time, the requested gift was somehow lost in translation. Maybe it was because even my best handwriting looked like hieroglyphics. Perhaps it was because we couldn’t afford my ridiculous requests. Or maybe, just maybe, I honestly didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t the only kid sitting on a throne of lies, and this was my first lesson that how you ask for something dictates what you get.
Fast forward to adulthood and I am still learning that lesson daily. Instead of writing wish lists to Santa, I’m now asking questions to help people become self-reflective and unstuck. Questioning is an underappreciated tool to bridge the gap between where someone is and where they want to be. Good questioning invites the other person in. It indicates you’re seeking understanding, rather than imposing your interpretation of events or leading the witness. When you ask questions, you have to listen to what the other person is saying with both their voice and their body. And as a bonus, asking informed questions with genuine curiosity increases the chance that the other person might find their own solution.
But like those Santa lists, how you ask influences what you receive. Ask a shallow question, get a shallow response. Ask too personal of a question before you’ve developed trust and you risk shutting the conversation down. Fail to be specific in what you’re trying to learn and you get a discounted multi-pack of Underoos.
As we look forward to the New Year, let’s all make the commitment to ask better questions. Here’s hoping that you receive whatever is on your list, including rest, relaxation, reflection, and a bit of good cheer. See you all in 2023!
Happy holidays,
— Mark Stelzner
Founder/Managing Principal/Improving Questioner, IA
Voice of HR
Content at your fingertips!
Every month, we highlight a recent article from one of our IA-ers, but did you know that there is a treasure trove of content on our website? Past blog posts, articles we’ve published with HR Executive Magazine, upcoming events, and resources are all available for anyone who wants to learn more. We invite you to take a closer look.
Where You Can Find Us
How is it almost 2023? Wasn’t it just Y2K?! As we ponder the fleeting nature of time, you can learn more about some of the upcoming events we are fortunate enough to support:
March 6-9, 2023: IA will once again support Hacking HR’s upcoming global conference, FORWARD 2023, participating in multiple panels during this global event. Register today!
April 27, 2023: IA is pleased to support the upcoming Scalefest conference – the virtual transformation event that follows the sun. Planning is still underway with more details coming soon!
May 2023: The upcoming Health and Benefits Leadership Conference will feature sessions to help organizations transform the way they think about using total rewards to engage, retain, and support their employees. Stay tuned for more details as IA supports this event!
On Our Radar
It’s the end of the year, which always seems to result in more internet time…you know, for research. Luckily, there is no shortage of interesting news items the team wanted to bring to your attention:
- We are strong proponents of having a solid governance framework, which includes the ability to prioritize work so collaboration is successful. Unfortunately, not every organization can do that well, resulting in something this article from Harvard Business Review refers to as “prioritization overload.” We have all been there.
- AI continues to dominate tech news as businesses look for ways to increase efficiencies and reduce costs. In this ERE article by everyone’s favorite Evil HR Lady Suzanne Lucas, Amazon’s play to encourage recruiters to resign is more about concentrating human interaction on high value touchpoints and automating where it makes sense.
- And in the “aww…that’s so cute” column is this adorable story about a little girl who asked if she would be allowed to keep a unicorn if she found one. And now she has the first officially licensed unicorn in Los Angeles. The lesson here is that it only takes a second to make a difference in a person’s life.
About IA
As trusted advisors to senior leaders, IA supports strategic initiatives that transform the way organizations work.
Our seasoned team of professionals apply a revolutionary eye, deep domain experience, and flexible tools to accelerate the achievement of even the most ambitious goals. With a cross-functional, strategic perspective, we thrive on big, messy problems. Whether large or small, public or private, domestic or international, it’s our job to support leaders and their teams in achieving outcomes that are truly unique to their culture and objectives.
Every organization has a catalyst for change – learn more at iatransforms.com.
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